Gracie Returns

Originally uploaded by LarryB.

Holy crap.

That’s me, Miss Busy Bee. I’ve been learning how to knit, realizing that knitting can be an expensive hobby, switching over to sewing, embroidery and crazy quilting [MUCH cheaper], and discovering a vibrant, thriving web community of crafters.

AND… I got an idea for a book about this community of crafters. I love to create books. I love crafts. I’ll never be a good enough crafter to write a how-to book using my own projects, but I can certainly make a book that showcases other crafters, thanks to print-in-demand services like Lulu and Blurb.

This is what I’ve been moving toward for years. In fact, I had this very idea over twenty years ago — to write a book showcasing the work of craftspeople around the country — but we didn’t have the Internet then. Or practically free ways to self-publish high-quality books. Things have changed a LOT since then thanks to the web. Not only has the Internet allowed the technology to make publishing possible with almost no money, but it has also fostered many large and small communities of crafters–knitters, embroiderers, and quilters, to name a few from all over the world–who would never have found each other without it. Many of them, like me, discovered and learned their crafts online.

I’ve spent the last month obsessively surfing these communities, finding deeper and deeper levels of amazingly gifted people–women, mostly–sharing with each other their love of making things by hand. I’m going to be sharing what I discover with you as I go about researching this labor of love.

It’s so perfect, I’m a little verklempt.

Today is traditionally the biggest shopping day of the year, but you don’t have to join the insanity. Stay home, relax, enjoy your Thanksgiving leftovers, and celebrate Buy Nothing Day. Think of it as your little contribution to saving the planet.

If you’d like to be entertained while you do your cyber Christmas shopping, This is the catalog for you: American Science & Surplus. Plus, the prices are amazing. One of my favorite items:

Digital Suspension Device

We’re using semantic obfuscation to crowd this plastic finger hook into a scientific category. It really doesn’t cut it as science, but sure has been a popular novelty in our stores. An embedded 1/2″ long wood screw will secure this flesh-colored finger to a rail, the side of a desk, a wall, or the back of a door. It then functions as an amusing hook for towels, robes, coats, tools, or attention. In fact the silly things seem to be beckoning, but we were afraid to call them “come hither hookers” for fear of misinterpretation. When installed, the fingernail, which might look a bit better with a little bright red polish, stands 2″ from the mounting surface. Sold in fours because this importer doesn’t deal in thumbs.

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Pine Valley, CA. But I should probably keep the secret. Don’t move here, whatever you do!

I turned 60 a couple of weeks ago, and I can feel the pangs of another mid-life crisis coming on. Except we’re past the midpoint now, aren’t we? Whatever. Number One Son and his wife urged me to get a tattoo or have my nose pierced for my birthday, but I wasn’t interested. Then one of them mentioned spinners.

“Spinners!” I cried. “I’ve always wanted spinners!” And it was agreed that they would get some of those flashy, spinning hubcaps for my rather stuffy Volvo station wagon, Brigitte [named after that other big, blonde Scandinavian, Brigitte Nielsen].

But after thinking about it for a few days, I decided that I could use a back massager more. Must be practical, you know. My back hasn’t stopped hurting just because I’ve graduated from physical therapy. And there’s the embarrassment factor to think about as well, after paying closer attention to the drivers of spinner-trimmed cars on El Cajon Boulevard. Let’s just say I don’t fit the profile.

Then I came across this wonderful video of pinstripers at work and remembered another fantasy: Wouldn’t it be cool to pimp Brigitte out with painted flames across the hood? With spinners, of course.

Totally. All I’d need is a back-massaging cushion, and I’d be ready to rumble.

But you know that. You’re probably sweltering too, no matter where you are–in the lower 48, at least. How hot was it? It was so hot in El Cajon yesterday [I live in the next town, La Mesa, CA] that my little Google weather widget got stuck at 111 degrees and even though it’s 6:30 in the morning and probably more like 70, it still says 111. Turns out it hit 113 in El Cajon yesterday, 109 in La Mesa. Oy.

At least it cools off at night, but the humidity–oh, the humidity! San Diego is known for its mild climate and relatively dry air–except right by the ocean–but we’ve been dripping and sticking to ourselves for weeks now. The electric bill has tripled, what with a window air conditioner in the bedroom and three fans going full blast to circulate the cool air into the rest of the apartment–not that they do a great job of it, but it beats being outside.

My lovely son and his girlfriend have a darling habit of waiting until I go to sleep and then closing the door to their room, where the air conditioner resides. I know they want their privacy but I like to be comfortable when I’m sleeping too; I’m funny that way. And you know? I’m sleeping. I can’t see or hear what’s going on in there. And it’s not like I have any privacy out in the living room, with everyone walking through on their way to and from the front door or the fridge. Does anyone care about MY privacy, or comfort? No.

But I shouldn’t complain. At least the power is still on here, unlike some parts of the county. Please, God, let it stay on. I used to complain during these increasingly long summer heat spells that if I wanted to live in New Orleans, I would have moved there–obviously, not an appropriate joke any more. So let’s change that to Florida: If I wanted to live in Florida, I would have moved there. And believe me, I don’t.

If this keeps up the mosquitoes will move in, and then there will be NO reason to live here whatsoever. None.

It should come as no surprise that I’ve completely lost interest in blogging, so I’m going to stop pretending that something’s going to change. Bornfamous is about to become history–knowing, of course, that as soon as I pull the plug I will change my mind.

Isn’t that always the way?